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27 March 2011 @ 12:51 am
OMG I TOTALLY LOST MY BAG AND GOT TO MEET SHINEE BECAUSE THE SECURITY SUCKS LOL  
Title: The Meat (oh God......well it's "meet" but SHINee needs an excuse to overreact)

Warnings: Mary Sue, everybody wants her! OOC!SHINee

Rating: Does Stupid have a rating?

Characters/pairings: Her/Everyone (but not yet that's a spoiler, oops)

Synopsis: Where's my bag? Oh look, it's SHINee. Hey.

badfic rating: B for beffort and on a badfic scale of 1-10, we give it a 3, aka a Gene Shalit



 

The scene opens on a small room with a projector and 5 chairs; this, my dear friends, is the sporking theater. Five bodies are quickly pushed in, the door slamming behind them and locking with an audible click. The five bodies make their way to the seats, obviously annoyed to be there. It's SHINee, and they're here as a form of unusual punishment for eating after 7pm.

Omg that was the best concert ever! I screamed though no one could hear me with sound of everyone trying to leave as quickly as possible. I sat back into my seat, waiting until all the crowds were gone.

Minho: The sheer fact that the first part doesn’t have any dialogue quotations just proves that this is off to a horrible start.

With everyone near the exits i decided to leave, i got up holding my light stick and fixing my clothing. Getting ready to leave, i walked halfway down the aisle towards the exit. oh dam, where my bag?

Minho: Dam? As in the thing that holds back water?

Jonghyun: Beavers?

According to Webster’s, dam has an “n” in it.

Jonghyun: A beaver dam!

I ran back to my seat. Omg its not there, i bent down on my knees looking if it was under my sat. I checked the seats behind me, i sat on the floor curling up into a ball.

Key: There’s a lot of “omg” in here

Onew: Was Minho with her then?

Minho: ONE TIME!

"This sucks" I screamed getting up and looking at the ceiling

"Miss, your going to have to leave" said a security guard near the exit. 

Taemin: It should be “you’re” not “your”

"Arroso, just looking for my bag" i replied, though he probably didnt care considering he left while i was still talking.

Key: He let her stay? He is so fired!

Onew: Arroso? Why is she talking about rice?

Key: What? We didn’t take Spanish lessons from Nicole…..

Jonghyun: Isn’t arroso Japanese?

~~~30 minutes later~~~

"Miss you have to leave now" said the security guard. I opened my mouth about to talk when he carelessely left.

Jonghyun: Haha you guys, “carelessely”, what the hell is that?

Minho: It sounds like a hand cream of some sort.

Key: You’re not funny.

I blew my bangs away from my face, figures. Dam where is my bag, i cant believe i lost a bag...again. Maybe i should carry a plastic bag so it wouldnt be hard to replace. "Ugh this is too hard" i said sitting on the floor.

Key: Yeah nothing says fashion like a hobo grocery bag.

Onew: Hobos wouldn’t stoop that low.

Taemin: Bag ladies would though. It’s in their name.

"hyung, dont tease me" said taemin, thats right these years of fangirling means i am trained to reconize all their voices ;)

Minho: I didn’t know we asked how she knew it was Taemin…

Key: Smiley faces?? Really?

He ran down to the end of the stage and began spining in a circle.

Onew: Oww! Spine in a circle? That sounds like pain!

Taemin: My back hurts just thinking about it.

" yeuroboun kamsamnida" he said bowing and waving. "whats that? You love me? I love SHINee world !" haha what a dork.

Onew: But everyone left already, who is he talking to?

Taemin: I am not that energetic.

Key: No you’re a lazy bastard that never wants to do chores.

Jonghyun: Or shower, you nasty.

Taemin: That’s you.

The rest of SHINee came out " what that? You want more? Arroso"

Onew: No, I don’t want more rice.

Key: Stop that!

said onew, then he began singing ---. I sat there watching, i couldnt move my body. I wanted to run onto the stage and give them hugs, but my body was too shocked.

Jonghyun: So Onew randomly starts singing? What is this The Sound of Music?

Key pushed onew out of the way

At least she got one thing right.

Jonghyun: That Key’s an attention whore?

Taemin: No that he likes to hit Onew.

Onew: That’s sad, I just realized this. ; ;

Key: Eww don’t make that face, you look retarded.

" She wont ever get enough once she gets a little touch~" he sang while dancing cutely. " Achoo~" i sneezed, they all turned to me...did j sneeze that loud?

Minho: How do you sneeze like “achoo~”? is this supposed to make this sound cute or something?

Jonghyun: I just want to know why j sneezes so loud!

 "Hyung i thought u said it was empty" said key whining

Taemin: That’s what she said.

Key: I am NOT a whiny little fairy.

Onew: Navi?

Jonghyun: LOL.

" it doesnt matter, shes just a fan not paparazzi" said Minho

Key: But Minho isn’t my hyung.

Jonghyun: In bad fic he is.

 " wanna come here and play?" asked taemin . WAS HE ASKING ME ? I quickly got up and walked towards the stage trying to climb up. Why were there no stairs? I propably looked stupid and short trying to get up.

Jonghyun: Aww, I propably look stupid and short all the time too ):

Key: Eww don’t frown like that you look short bus.

Taemin: It’s “probably”.

Jonghyun: It’s probably what?

I stopped trying and backed away from the stage, i felt my cheeks burn of embarrassment. Taemin sat along the edge of the stage and held out his hand " need some help?" " yes, please" minho got on the other side and reached out for my hand.

One swift movement i was up, i wish i could have gotten up mysekf like that. Once i got on the stage they let go of my hand. Omg they have such soft hands~~~~

Onew: OH GOD WHAT IS A SEKF!?

Key: So our hands are soft? Minho's hands are magically soft after years of playing sports?

Minho: Onew has soft hands.

Key: You spelled fat wrong.

Minho: I wasn’t spelling.

Onew: That hurts.

I brushed my clothing down adjusting my shirt and looked up. They were all staring at me..." umm annyeonghaseyo" i said bowing 90. 

Jonghyun: Who the hell is 90, and I still want to know about j and his sneeze!

Taemin: Why are there no commas anywhere?

"Annyeonghasaeyo" said taemin smiling. Gahh hes so adorable. Its quiet...and awkward...

Key: Last time I checked Taemin glares at the fangirls and hides behind Minho so they can’t snap pictures of him.

Onew: Or he hides his face in some jedi robe-ish jacket.

Jonghyun: But jedi are supposed to wear those clothes.

Minho: He’s not a jedi.

Jonghyun: So I’m not your padawan?

"So are you a fan? Asked onew

 

"Hyung, of course why would she be here if she wasn't?" asked Minho

 

"Yes im a big fan" i answered shyly

Jonghyun: so she’s a fat girl? D:

Key: What did I say about the faces?

"Did you like our performances? Asked Taemin

Onew: Taemin has always been so good to the robust.

Minho: And the elderly.

"Yeah they were really good!" I said enthusiastically while giving thumbs up

Taemin: Why are there so many spaces between the questions?

Minho: Why do you ask so many questions? Why do we live? Why is Jonghyun stupid? These questions have no answers.

Key: But a question without an answer is a statement. –Key smooches Taemin’s cheek-

Jonghyun: I like him; he looks me in the eye!

"Which one were your favorites?" Asked Jonghyun

"The solo stages" 

 

"Was it mine?" Asked Taemin

Onew: You guys, everything above starts with “asked”-

Key: Her creativity, wide vocabulary and evident use of a thesaurus astounds me.

"Pfft hyung its mine" said Minho

Taemin: So I’m suddenly Minho’s hyung?

Jonghyun: Again, only in badfic.

"Mine was better" Said Jonghyun

Taemin: All you did was flail like a retard, fist pump, and made it evident you should never dance without choreography.

Jonghyun: That hurt. –hits chest- that hurt right here.

"You wish,yeobo. Did u hear the fans scream during mine?"

Key: You don’t even call me yeobo unless it’s on television

Minho: Too many people ship JongKey because of you.

Onew: Ah, but Onkey is on the rise!

Taemin: Why do you sound happy about that?

Jonghyun: You’re still obese in the hand area.

Minho: Watch out or he might ttakbam your dick when you’re not looking.

Jonghyun: I’m always watching my dick! It’s so beautiful.

…..

"Yeah they were teling you to stop" Said Jonghyun

Key: Teling?

Taemin: Is the grammar making you want to shoot a kitten again?

Jonghyun: LEAVE MONORAIL CAT BE!

Onew: Monorail cat?

I couldnt help but giggle at their bickering, they all looked at me with their hands on their necks looking away.

 

Taemin: So we’re choking each other?

Onew: WHY YOU LITTLE


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