?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
28 March 2011 @ 03:44 pm
 

Title: The Car Ride (AKA LAME FILLER THAT WARNS ME AND queenfucker  TO JUST STOP, IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE)

Warnings: Boring ass filler, Mary Sue, her parents are missing and it's foreshadowed that SHINee will help!

Rating: Does stupid have a rating?

Characters/pairings: Her/Everyone (but we're not going to bother going that far)

Synopsis: Where's my bag? Oh look, it's SHINee. Hey.

badfic rating: F for filler (fillers don't get pictures of hilarious people)


 

NOT EDITTED...ISH

Minho: I’m sure we could’ve figured that one out within the first sentence.

Jonghyun picked up my hand, he stopped for a moment and smiled looking at me. Then he pulled me forward towards the exit. There was a man in his 30s waiting in front of the van, I’m guessing their manager... “Who is this girl?” he whispered to Onew

Minho: She’s our hooker, and Jonghyun’s sister.

Jonghyun: Wow, bitch. Un-fucking-called for.

Manager: What the hell, I don’t look like I’m in my 30s do I?

Taemin: Well actually…

Key: Well, well, well…..look who came crawling back to us.

Onew: HYUNG!

“Uhhh... we haven't gotten to proper introductions”Onew whispered back. I let go of Jonghyun's hand, stepped forwarded and bowed “ Annyeonghaseyo I'm Shin Hyerin”

Jonghyun: OH GOD I’M FREE!

Taemin: She could have chosen a better name.

Onew: What’s better than a name that sounds almost like hairy?

“Where are you from? Are you a fan? Where do you live? How old are you? Do your parents know where you are? Do you have a criminal record?”

Manager: Please, I am not that pushy.

Minho: How would she know if that’s even the manager?

Taemin: He would probably knock her out.

Manager: WOW. ONE TIME. ONE TIME YOU GUYS.

Jonghyun: How come you let Taemin watch porn in your room but when I go in there you say “Get out of here you nasty midget!” it hurts. I just want to talk to you!

Onew: With all due respect, I don’t think your commentary would be considered very entertaining, manager-hyung……

“Uhh..ye-ann-uhh-nehhh...uhh” was all that came out of my mouth

Taemin: AH SO SHE’S RETARDED TOO!

Jonghyun: Well what happened to her horse Charlie? AND J AND HIS WEIRD SNEEZE!?

Key: Get in your cage right now. Minho, put him in his cage.

Minho: Will do. Do I put a trail of Reese’s Pieces for him to follow?

Jonghyun: Oh please! Everyone knows that I’m allergic to peanut butter –takes bite of a butterfingers-

Minho: -side eyes Jonghyun- ……

“Hyung! Don't scare her” said Taemin “She's our friend now” he said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

Taemin: -contemplates chopping off hand-

Key: do it. Put your gremlin of a hand out of its misery for touching that.

Jonghyun: That’s awful! That’s like telling me to chop off my nose whenever Minho-

Minho: MOVING ON!

Key: I would ask you to chop off your nasty gaping hole of a nose either way.

Onew: Dude, uncool.

Jonghyun: …… -thinks: I got Onkey in a fight ㅋㅋ-

“uhh...okay” said their manager

Manager: Wow, I’m so boring it’s like…..blah!

Taemin: -whispers- It’s canon…

Manager: What?

Jonghyun: It’s….a canyon!

Manager: -side eyes Jonghyun-

 “Come on Hyerin” He said grabbing my hand and opening the door to the car. I grabbed Jonghyun's hand along with me.

Jonghyun: AHH SAVE ME!

Key: No, mm-mmm, I don’t think so! Who does she think she is grabbing him like that??

Minho: Does she have sweaty palms, Jonghyun?

Jonghyun: It’s Niagara Falls when we hold hands.

Minho: Better have an umberella…ella…ella…eh…eh…eh…

Jonghyun: DON’T EAT BROCOLLI BEFORE WE GO TO SLEEP.

Minho: FUCK YOU.

Their manager got into the drivers seat, Onew jumped into the car, smiling. Key and Minho put bags into the passenger seat. Once they got in the seating became like this.

Onew: Tea bags?

Manager. Bags

Taemin: So no one gets shotgun? That’s stupid!

Onew: At least we all get pistol?

Jonghyun: But some of us have to share pistol with Hairy.

Onew, Minho,Key

Taemin: Wait so that means…

Taemin, Me, Jonghyun

Jonghyun: Oh god, why do we have to suffer –clings to Taemin–

Taemin: BECAUSE THE AUTHOR IS CRUEL TO US.

The car began moving I was about to put on my seat belt when I saw Jonghyun grabbing it for me. He passed it to Taemin, who secured it. I smiled to myself at their cute actions.

Taemin: Eww, girls. We would never do that, if anything, right as you passed it to me I would cry out in pleasure and smack your face away so I could have some privacy as I ride–

Key: TAEMIN!

Taemin: What?

Jonghyun: Taemin can’t ride himself…..can he?

Taemin: Wanna watch me-

Minho: TAEMIN!

“So are you guys going to the usual place?” 

Taemin: Is she the one saying this? SHE’S A STALKER NOW.

Jonghyun: MARY SUE!! DRINK! –Onew and Jonghyun drink-

Jonghyun: -after taking a drink- I feel weird…..

Onew: Ahh, come on you lightweight!

Minho: -considers telling Jonghyun about the butterfingers he ate earlier and how he was allergic to peanuts and how he was probably getting sick over that but remembers when Jonghyun paid all of Super Junior, including SUJU-M, to give him a Dutch oven- fuck that……

Taemin: -sees Minho’s forever changing expressions and side eyes him-
Minho: It’s nothing –pats Taemin’s head, smiling-

“Yeah!” they all screamed, I covered my ears. 

Key: Ah, those selfish, feeling ears that always cause us pain.

Taemin: Why would we even scream? We never scream except for when–

Key: DON’T SAY IT.

“Aish, you guys be quieter! Some of us want to hear after this car ride” said their manager

Minho: I can’t hear when Taemin rides m–

Key: Minho!

Minho: I love it when you finish my sentences for me.

“ Arroso” they all agreed.

Onew: Rice is an agreement?

Jonghyun: I thought it was Japanese.

Onew: Enough with the Japanese, Jonghyun.

Jonghyun: Enough with the rice, hyung.

The car became silent...”So how long have you been in Korea?” asked Key

Key: UH-UH! I DON’T TALK TO PEOPLE, PEOPLE TALK TO ME!

Taemin: Get off your diamond-studded pedestal, you bitch.

Onew: So suddenly you have a backbone when you’re hiding behind Minho?

Minho: Now you see how it is.

“well...” I checked my non-existing watch, “ About a day or two”

“REALLY?” 

Key: Why would somebody lie about that? GODDAMNIT, ME, YOU’RE SO STUPID IN THIS!

Onew: Well the characters portrayed usually mirror the writer whether it is slightly or entirely.

Taemin: You’re finally sobering up?

Jonghyun: Taemin asked a stupid question! DRINK! –Onew and Jonghyun drink-

“What are you doing here?”

Key: WELL OBVIOUSLY SHE WENT TO SEE SHINEE AND PURPOSEFULLY “LOST” HER BAG WHICH HAD SOME SORT OF GAS–

Jonghyun: HA!! GAS!

Key: –THAT CONTAINED CHEMICALS THAT MADE US ACT STUPID!

Minho: It’s all making sense now…..

Blablah, she’s looking for her parents because she doesn’t know them and SHINee is impressed and other bullshit blablah

“Wahh you're brave to come to a country, where you know no one” Said Taemin. Once again my eyes widened, He was right I didn't know anyone. What am I going to do if I need help? Who am I going to spend time with when I can't find my parents? I did not think this through.

Taemin: I hate me in this fic, all these stereotypes…

Onew: Stereotype! Drink! –Onew and Jonghyun drink-

“Hyerin-shi are you okay?” asked Minho waving his hand in front of me

“Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine”

Jonghyun: You guys, I’m not feeling fine…..I’m really itchy all of a sudden and it’s all hot.

Onew: Haha light-weight! –shoves Jonghyun playfully- -screams and backs away when he sees Jonghyun’s skin react by changing to a yellow green-

Key: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Minho: …… -smirks-

“We're here!” said their manager “Now remember, once you guys are done eating take a cab straight back to the dorm” 

Manager: You guys don’t want me to eat with you??

All: Hyungggggg!

Manager: -points to Jonghyun- Hey! Don’t team up on me, his skin is changing colors!

“Arroso”

Taemin: Arosso must be a universal word.

Jonghyun: Like boinga!

Key: What?

Jonghyun: In the Backyardigans in outerspace, everything is boinga.

Minho: I want to boinga your boinga?

Jonghyun: YES! JUST LIKE THAT! –claps obnoxiously-

All but Jonghyun: - back away as if the claps will spread Jonghyun’s disease throughout the theater-

“We got it, hyung”

They opened the car door and we all hopped out to a small street. 

 “So where are we going?” I asked 

Key: NO ONE SAID YOU COULD SPEAK YOU WHORE

Minho: Shall I push her down a flight of stairs?

Onew: But then Taemin will leave you for her, because he likes seeing girls hurt, writhing on the floor and bleeding and all that.

Taemin: But–

Key: YOU LIKE SEEING PEOPLE GET HURT.

“Its this restaurant, we love. Don't worry you'll like it too”

Taemin: WHY WOULD WE SHOW IT TO HER UGH 10 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR.

Jonghyun: Snaaappppeee~

Key: SHUT UP, THE HULK ISN’T IN HARRY POTTER.

Jonghyun: It’ll wear off eventually……

Onew: Please tell me this is over with.

Taemin: Can…can we go home?

 

Tags:
 
 
Current Music: Drinking Dirty Bathwater is what I do Best - Nsync
 
 
 
nickelsleevenickelsleeve on April 4th, 2011 07:59 pm (UTC)
LMAO